heavy heart.

 i have never been this moody, depressed and short-tempered and snappy in my entire life. 

things take their way to where my anger goes, i feel as if nothing goes the right way, the thing is that i plan something and it entirely goes wrong, 

it’d not what you think it is, its very much different.

the thing is: that i have endured the pain and sorrow in hoping it will make everything fine and i will find happiness but things go wrong, i have always said that things will get better, at some point, but it never does, never. ever, maybe because i am complaining now so thats why i dont want to remember something good.

my heart reached it capacity, i cannot take any more of this. 

i wish i was stabbed in the heart maybe then the pain will go away. 

i used to feel an ache in my heart at some moments but now, my heart is aching constantly, i am suffocating. 

but i can’t unleash it, the problem had went over the limits, i may walk to get more plates or just listen to someone talking and still feel the sting in my heart. 

and at night, it is the worst… 

the moment i am alone in my bed, and everyone asleep, i can gradually let it all out, in little sobs that are silenced by my pillows. 

it starts when i feel completely alone, when the pain is being acknowledge, when it is the only thing that my conciouse mind is paying attention to. the only thing that cannot let me sleep.

a gulp form in my throat, and i know it is too late, my mouth pout involuntarily and i try to stop the tears, i dont know why, it becomes a normal reaction that i stop my tears from forming in the corner of my eye, due the fact that at some parts of the day i have this unwanted urge to let a few out. 

then it all pile up in my mind, the more i stop myself the more my head starts hurting, it will develop into an aching headache so i cry, for my sake.

i make no effort to wipe my them away, my tears, instead i bury my face in my pillow mainly to silent my sobs and the loud breathing. 

after that my heart feel a bit lighter, there is more space that can be filled up with happy things i hope. 

other nights, i read a small story or watch an mv, to let some of the pain away, so i can feel the lightness of my heart again, so i can empty all those unnecessary feelings. 

i take long breaths and smile, mostly because i head someone said its a cheap medicine, to smile that is.

How to Colour Mangacaps in Photoshop CS5

okay before we start, this is my way in colouring mangacap, you might find other ppl, doing a way better job that what i do, and thats great!, so this post is not all pro. 


first: Choose a Mangacap


second: i use the Paint Bucket Tool

to paint the major parts in the manga cap, like in this picture below, i painted her hair first and her face, and then the sharingan eyes on her forehead, all using Bucket Tool
But the bucket tool works on only the Background layer (i dont know why but yeah)

third: make a new layer, because you will colour it, the small parts, the shadowing for the face, and those little details, i colour it using my laptop, i dont have a tablet YET, so yeah


BUT, you use the "Darken" instead of normal, you will see that in the layers, above the layers, see the picture below.

the "Darken" mode makes it easier to colour !!! you wont have to worry about the black lines and stuff.

How To Recover From A Fictional Character's Death?

we've all read a book or a manga, or watched an anime or a movie or a tvshow. and we come to like this character, this one character that we loved the way they talk, they way the react to a situation and their appearances of course, and they of their thinking and sometimes they are the ones who encourage us and help us get over the obstacles we face in life.

but then, they leave, they die in their universe, you will cry,  you will actually not believe it until they confirm it and then you feel that there is a big hole being dug in your heart, tears will be shed, you will notice your bed is full of tissues that you used,  chocolate and ice cream will be needed. 

you would want to talk to someone about it, tweet about it, write about it, sing about it, or just think about it.

you would come with so many solutions and possibilities that he or she could be back. but then no matter what, you will have to admit that they won't.

someone said to me "You Dont" when i asked "Does anyone remember how to get over a character's death?" 

its true, after a while you would feel fine and in peace, but when someone brings it up or when you see a post in tumblr about it or a tweet about it, you just start having this heartache all over again, which is annoyingly painful.

those characters do make a difference in your life, their words brings you hope and help you to keep fighting no matter how things got worse. 

"will we miss them?"

OFCOURSE!

"do we have to let go"

Not necessarily. its ok, not to let go. 

in fact they will always live in our memories. 

if we look back maybe they had a reason to not exist in their universe. there won't be a reason for each character, but it took me time to realize that:

Ace (from One Piece) had to sacrifice himself to save luffy,

and so luffy can continue his adventures and become The Pirate King.

this the only example and the only character that i though i might share in this post. there won't be always a reason why this character had to die, but you will only figure it out later?  maybe? 

News about the reviews

in my old reviews i would:

- write the description.
-explain my opinion
-predictions (optional)
-characters analysis (optional)


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now:

-no description but i might write highlights of everything
-review which is opinion
-predictions
-characters analysis

motivation?

so lately i have been too lazy to write anything,

i dont know if am gonna post anything, 

Upcoming Reviews (that i will post after finals)

Reviews that should be soon published:

Fullmetal Alchemist Vol.2


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Planning on Reviewing:

Naruto (ep 53-end of the arc)

One Piece (Fisherman Island Arc Part1)

Silver Spoon (a whole review about the anime)

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What am watching now: (other than whats is above)

HunterxHunter

Detective Conan (just starting)

Tonari no Seki-kun (read the manga and watching the anime)

SCREEN SHOT OF THE WEEK

AN ANNOUNCEMENT :(

hello, to who ever read my blog.


sadly  i won't be posting any reviews probably till Feb, but if i ever had time i would!

i have some that i have wrote but not edited so there might be a couple posts.



xoxo,

the writer of this boring blog.

One Piece: Return To Saboady - Ep 517-522

One Piece Review : EP 517-522

2 years have past..

luffy grabs his straw hat and off to Saboady

New opening theme song: so refreshing and yay!!
we get to see some hints (the straw hat originally belongs to Roger?) (roger gave it to shanks?) 

and also we get to see their new appearance in the opening theme. but as me, i knew how they looked like, because you can't avoid One Piece twitter spoilers.

i wish i had stopped watching one piece for a month so i can at least feel what the fans felt when they waited a month till the manga continued, but no. 

Zoro walk into the bar, Shakki's bar HE IS THE FIRST!!

the Marine Ford Head Quarters had changed in place, and it is loaded in the New World, also their is a new fleet admiral (replacing Senguko (he retired remember?))


Nami at this bar and there is a man invited her for a drink, she refuses but guess who is that man is, he is the fake Luffy, so ussop comes and fight them and Nami uses her weather powers and they go,

There is a fake Mugiwara crew and they are recruiting pirates, so the Marines are heading there. to Saboady and they're all calling for back up.

Brook became a famous singer and his world tour is here in Saboady! he told his managers (the long arms ppl) that this is his last concert.

While Sanji arrived to Saboady XD

Robin is in Saboady too

so Franky is here too and he has changed completely!

the real Luffy accidentally bumps into the fake Luffy, the fake Luffy gets mad he shoots the real Luffy, Luffy uses Haki to knock out the fake Luffy.

Mean while Chopper meets with the fake crew and he believes they are his nakama

and he witnesses the fake Robin gets kidnapped by the men in black suits, he demands to the fake crew to help her but they ignore him, they go the fake Luffy and Chopper follows them and when he sees fake Luffy he tells him that robin got kidnaps but he don't care! chopper runs off crying not believing what he heard. chopper comes across the real Nami and Ussop and they explain to him about the fake Mugiwara crew. 

Sanji went to get some food supplies and he meets Zoro who had cut off a ship in half, because he accidentally went to the wrong ship.

So the fake Zoro and Sanji find the real luffy and they take him to the fake Luffy, the fake Luffy gathered all the pirates with a high bounty that he recruited.

The Marines arrived too and all those pirates fight back, with the Marines is the Pacifestas and Sentumaro

The fight happens and the Pacifesta can track the real luffy so after Sentumaro beat the shit outta fake Luffy and expose his identity that he is a rookie pirate with 26,000,000 bounty, the real Luffy expose himself and fight the Pacifesta in one punch, he meets up with zoro and Sanji and zoro and sanji defeat the pacifist in one shot as well, so Sentumaro gives the message to the marine that the Mugiwara crew have gotten stronger over this two years

While in Brook, the Marines have arrived to capture brook, revealing to the fans that he is a pirate and he is one of the Mugiwara crew. so Brook sings one last song.

Back in the ship, Nami, Ussop, Franky and Chopper is there and they all meet up, Chopper has an idea to gather the rest of the crew. Rayleigh explained to Nami how the coating ship works.

The fans protect Brook from the Marines so he songs his last song and he flees.

back to Luffy, Zoro and Sanji, Rayliegh is here!! and Luffy thanks him for training him and he says loudly " I AM GOING TO BE THE PIRATE KING" and they are off to Sunny,

Duval henchmen help Brook flee to Sunny, and all the crew's senseis are helping them to go!

Brook and his fans!
Rayleigh is fighting the Marines
Weatheria scientist are here
Perona is here too
Heracles'in is fighting the Marines
the giant birds are here
even Boa Hancock, the Okamas

They are all here in Saboady fighting the marines to let the Mugiwara crew escape to Fishman Island